90210
Much appreciated Lips. I'll pass it on to TLO!
But I must get this out on the blog and out of my mind. I've been contemplating it for a while and yes, I believe it to be true. Lips got my wheels turning with his theory that the all powerful Captain Buzz Kill can indeed posses other beings. I was skeptical at first, but his story about The B was intriguing.
Then while daydreaming about Kelly (hey I've got 4 more weeks...And it's KILLING me! I haven't gone this long in my professional life!) it hit me suddenly. CBK can indeed possess other creatures and I fear he's been around MUCH longer than we may have given him credit for. We thought he was created during our trip to The Bend, however, by my estimation, it may have been as early as 1989. Yes...17+ years ago!
After Kelly, uh hum, took care of business, my thoughts wandered to the evil Donna. You see my fellow mopes, WE were David Silver and CBK was indeed Donna reincarnate! All David did was mind his own business. Yes, he had the funky hair, crazy fashions, run-ins with the bad seeds and problems with Da Man, but who among us hasn't (Das Enufs follicle deficiency has been well chronicled as has Pillow Pants' fashion sense, Deuce's omnipresent bruises and Lips "yea, you wanna go...let's dance beeeotch!" persona). But he was a well-meaning dude that did his best to be a good guy for Donna. What did Donna do to re-pay him? NOTHING. She closed her legs. She would never cede to his every advance. David would take her to a nice dinner. Donna would complain the lobster wasn't pre-cracked (God forbid he take her to the Peach Pit). David would open the car door for her. Donna would complain about his Carolla. David held out for her. Donna refused. Nat was never good enough for her. She wanted Emeril! Then to make matters worse...as if to hold a carrot just beyond his reach, she went off and got a boob job! That's right, the resident Beverly Hills virgin got BIGGER fun bags. AAAAAHHHHH! So frustrating.
That's right...Donna was David's (our) BUZZ KILL. David went through his formative teen age years tormented by a big boobed beeotch that never gave it up no matter what he did. Who does that? Who gets fake boobs and doesn't sleep around? That's like me going to Hair Club for Men and then wearing a yarmulke for the rest of my life.
We had to wait until the last season for the payoff. When finally after 9 seasons of wining and dining, she decided the "time was right." Of course this was after he got a room at the Beverly Inn...that's right, the $500 a night hotel that Dillon lived in.
Unfortunately for David he pulled a Cameron from Ferris Bueller's Day Off and married the pyscho. Let us hope, for our own sake, that CBK does not have the same effect on us, my fellow mopes. May we enjoy brews unencumbered by the threat of CBK. May Professor Fart Knocker realize the error in his ways and have a beer w/o the threat of cracked sidewalks again. May the sun rise tomorrow and my CBK never find another David Silver to torment.
I'm parched.
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