Inevitabilities...

I know…it’s been a while since I’ve posted. My apologies. Been busy, yada, yada, yada. I’ve been thinking about this one for a few days though. Just now getting around to typing the thoughts. This week’s episode has to do with inevitabilities, things I know will happen given certain circumstances. Herewith, my list of (not-too-distant future) inevitabilities:

1. Miguel will be called syphilis for some time. Not because he has it, but because his haircut reminds Lips of Caesar who I guess (according to Lips) died of the disease. I thought he died at the sword of his own troops, but Lips’ ending is nothing, if not more entertaining.
2. Like wise, Cristobol, among his many other nicknames (my favorite being ”Meat” from his deli counter days) will be called…Luther Vandross ---again from the en fuego Lips last Saturday…due to his quick weight gain, then weight loss, then weight gain, then…. For some time. Very Kirstie Alley like.
3. We will always have one more beer than we should. What is it in our psyche, that when we have just the right buzz going, but insist on not just another beer (or the more intelligent ride home), but accelerating our alcoholic intake double-fold?!
4. Cones and Nicole will turn their backs on this blog completely.
5. Lips will hear about items #1 & #2 above. No doubt about it.
6. We will drink too much Thursday night and feel like arse all day Friday even though we’ve got a busy day. (see # 3 above) But hey, how often do you get to see King Nugget in Chi-town!
7. I will need next Monday for recovery. Thank God the two remaining brain cells provided the forethought to take it off when we planned this trip long ago.
8. DeuceCones will get much use out of his new, sweet dartboard set up. Then proclaim his readiness to take on the pros in the World Series of Dart in 2007 on ESPN Ocho. "Good dart!"
9. Nicole will be right there with him until BC comes along and teaches us all a lesson.
10. Pedro will talk out of the side of his mouth this weekend (hopefully after an ND win, but may not be able to walk if they lose).
11. Speaking of ‘Das Enough…Pete Finfrock will go out on a limb and proclaim that we have indeed seen our last 100 degree day of 2006.
12. The Rangers will miss the playoffs (shocker), the Mavs will make the Finals again this next season and the Cowboys will finish with a better record than the Bears, in a much more difficult division, mind you. And don’t get me started on the Saints or the Niners. Perhaps the two worst defenses in the NFL.
13. Mesch & Pierard will not finish in the top 3 unless they de-pants someone in a trade (always possible with Box “Peyton for Rod Smith” Num-nuts around).
14. Brady Quinn will finish top 3 in the FF final standings (maybe not reg. Season, but final standings).
15. Three weddings will be a LOT of fun next year: Cristobol/Becky, Nugget/Kristi & Deuce/Reik!
16. If you answer the phone “yello” or hang up the phone with a “ba-bye” and you are a dude…you will turn gay…if you’re not already there. Not that there’s anything wrong with that.
17. DeuceCones will wuss out on getting the Italian crest tattoo. (What’s the delay?!)
18. Paris will tell Nicole how to dress, who to date and if some chick is not right for him…at least one or two more times in the future.
19. Nicole will respond to Paris with an “I love you.”
20. Ok, that last one freaked me out too. Time to wrap this thing up.
21. Ok so that last one was not inevitability, but if you’ve read this far, who cares.
22. This ND trip will be awesome. Nugget, the 2nd win on the way to the Nat’l Championship (hopefully), Linebackers Bar, the whole Catholic thing, cold beer, cooler weather, opportunity to hang with good friends at one of my favorite places in the world…all = Greatness!
23. Notorious BLG will comment on this post…as she does every Mope post. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. We love comments. BTW, how are Tito Jackson and Courtney Love?

Ok ‘Das Enuf!